So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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