ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
