Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
