It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
