This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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