If i could tip my vagina, i would.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
