just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
