I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
