i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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