I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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