I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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