He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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