U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
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You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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