No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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