your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize