He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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