I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize