every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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