Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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