Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
