I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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