best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
