they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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