make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
