i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
