I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
