Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
