I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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