i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
