Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
