My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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