she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
