I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize