i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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