Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
