I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize