mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
