Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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