Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
