Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
look no pants
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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