Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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