Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she was so not down for the gang bang
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
