I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
