Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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