marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
