Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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