is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
