I didn't shave. On purpose
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
