Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
