Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just tell him i said nine months
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
