Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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