and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
be right there i have to get my cape
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
